My kids have been in Texas with their grandparents for ten days now. It was nice and quiet for a few days, but now it just seems strange and kind of sad. I know that they are having a blast, and this trip is the highlight of their summer. As for me, I am rushing through some major home repair projects that need to be done, but I really miss my kids. I miss Kambry’s little smile, and the smiles from all the people at Wal-Mart when she is with me. I miss Tait’s giant hugs, and the way he loves to cuddle up and watch tv. I miss Ransom’s silly jokes, and his infectious joy that makes me happy even when I’ve had a hard day. As a matter of fact, there are a million other little things I miss. It is amazing to me how many things I don’t realize or recognize until I don’t have them. It is so easy to focus on the work and the frustrations of parenthood and forget about the blessings of it when life is in its daily routine. But my children are a gift from God, a very precious gift! Spending time without them has shown me how much I need to maximize the time I have with them. I need to relax more and just enjoy them. Their childhood won’t last forever, and before long my house will be this quiet all the time. In the meantime, I will work harder to remember Psalm 127:3, “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord.” Thank you, Lord, for my three wonderful blessings!
July 19, 2010
Teaching is sometimes a hard job. No, I don’t mind lesson plans and grading. I don’t mind research papers and novel units. I don’t even mind standing up in front of a bunch of sixteen year olds every day trying to impart education and wisdom when I know full well that they are just spending the hour perfecting their ability to text with one hand without looking as they try to keep me from taking their cell phones. So, why is my job so hard? It’s hard because I fall easily in love with these kids. I teach because I love them and care about them. The job is hard when one of them is hurting, and I know that there is very little I can do to help. This past year, my students went through the loss of a beloved teacher and the loss of a fellow student. It was a difficult year for all of us. Today, I found out that a sweet special ed student that I had grown to love passed away after years of battling cancer and other health issues. Tonight, I learned that one of my students attempted to commit suicide by overdosing on prescription meds. he left a goodbye note on Facebook that thanked his teachers and coaches for loving and supporting him and told his friends not to be sad. I have never wept over a Facebook post before, but tonight I remember how hard it is to love kids that don’t feel loved. I, also, felt intense pride as I read the responses from many of the other kids. They did the right thing. They immediately told his mom who rushed him to the hospital and saved his life. They called each other and told everyone to pray. They even contacted their teachers in the middle of the summer to ask for our prayers. Many of them rushed to his side at the hospital, sent text messages, and posted messages of support and love on facebook (can you see why I love these kids?). The thing that made being his teacher so hard for me tonight was the part of his suicide letter that said he didn’t believe there was a God any more. I stood in front of him every day for a year, and I failed to teach him what was really important. I know that there are laws and regulations, and teachers have to be careful about what they say in the classroom. I know that even when we really try, we will never reach everyone for Christ. That doesn’t keep me from wanting to try. It is not an excuse not to let my students and everyone around me know that God is the Lord of my life. He is real. He does make a difference! He is the reason to keep living, and to live every day to the fullest. Job 19:25 says, “I know my Redeemer lives.” I do know He lives, but I’m not sure I always live that way. Does my frustration, my whining, my constant complaining about things that I should probably be seeing as a blessing, tell the people around me that I serve a risen Redeemer? Do my students, my colleagues, my friends, my family, see Him living in me? Do they know that I love them and care about their lives, that my prayer is for them to see the Lord living in my life. That’s a hard job, but it is one that we are all called to do. Stop for a moment and consider the pain that other people may be feeling. Can you show them the living God that lives in you? He is the answer!
July 15, 2010
Have you noticed that we live in a world of excess? Doesn’t it always seem that no matter what people have, they are always looking for more? We want bigger houses, fancier cars, more apps for our phones, more shoes in our closets. Our kids have to have everything their friends have and then some. Even our dogs have to have cool clothes! We aren’t even concerned that more commitments have made us less fulfilled, more activities have made us tired, more things have put us in debt, and more food has made us fat! I listened to the words of an awesome song today. It said, “I want more than this.” No, it wasn’t about a disappointing trip to Wal-Mart when the credit card gave out before the sales. It was a song about how empty we all are despite the things we have. I talk to people all the time who wonder why we all work so hard to feel so miserable. I’ve felt the same way for too long. The chorus of the song goes on, “I want more than we’ve settled for, more than our Sunday best or an empty hope. I want more than this, beyond religion’s walls. When I think about what life’s worth living for, I want more.” Wow, that pretty well sums it up for me. But, wait! I’m a Christian! I’m saved! I try to do the right thing, and be what God wants me to be. So, why am I so empty? He fills me up, right? According to the scripture in James 1:16, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father”. Imagine getting a really cool gift, something you’ve always wanted. After you open it and hug it to you and thank the Giver, you get so excited that you want to show it to everyone. Then, as time goes by, you get new things, exciting things, things you think will make you happy, so you take the precious gift, push it back into the box, and put it on the shelf. Every now and then when you are feeling sad or scared or empty, you take it out and hold it for a while, but them it goes right back in the box when you feel a bit better. Salvation is the greatest gift we could ever receive! But when the world offers us “more” we put God on the shelf and wait until we really need Him again. ”More” isn’t something we need or even something we want. It is something we already have! As long as we go about our lives with no commitment, no true relationship with God, we have Him packed away with the other “things” that are supposed to bring us happiness. The song ends with these word, “I want more love, more grace, more power. I want more hope, more joy, more mercy, Lord. I want more peace, more faith, more passion, I want more of You and less of me.” These words have gripped my heart and become my prayer. I’m tired of being empty despite all the things I have. I want more! I want the good things God has for my life. I want a relationship with my Savior that is so close it doesn’t allow room for emptiness. I’m finished with mediocrity. I have decided that I want more! What about you?
July 14, 2010
Alright, maybe I’m too much of a girl, but I really hate construction projects. They are dirty, time-consuming, and they make me ache from head to toe. However, the final project makes me happy (usually, anyway). After fifteen years of church parsonage and rental homes, Philip and I finally bought our first home last October. The process was a nightmare, and we still haven’t seen our government rebate, but I digress! Homeownership is exciting and fun, but it is also a giant burden. We love our home and see it as a true blessing from God. We have always dreamed of having a home to host others. We wanted a place where our friends and our kids’ friends could be comfortable and at home. We longed for a living room large enough to hold Bible Studies and a backyard pool for pool parties and baptisms. We wanted to be able to host family Christmas celebrations where everyone could be comfortable (even when snowed in by a freak Oklahoma snow storm). God blessed us with all of these opportunities, and we are grateful for every one. However, this blessing comes with a lot of work! Today, we stripped floors and painted ceilings. I rubbed blisters on my hands and feet, and there are muscles aching that I didn’t remember having. Even as we are working on these projects, we are discussing future ideas. Next summer we want to add a room by closing in part of the garage. The year after that, a new deck around the pool. Down the road a bit, maybe we can close in the back porch. I know that when we finish this summer’s project, we will be excited and happy, but I’m not sure we will ever be completely finished with our house, our blessing, our burden. I suppose God feels the same way about us. He has already done so much work to create us, mold us, shape us, and teach us, but there is still so much to do. He loves us and has a plan and purpose for each of us. Every time we take a step in the right direction, He rejoices. Every time we break down, He patiently builds us back up. But, no matter how much time passes, no matter how many parts of our lives are “fixed”, we will always require a little more work. II Peter 1:5-6 says, “Add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.” We are a constant building project, but God never quits. He just keeps adding and adding, encouraging and encouraging, building and building. Today my prayer is, “God keep working on me. I know I’m not an easy project, but I want to be pleasing to You. I want to bring you joy, and I’m so proud to belong to You!”
July 13, 2010
Today, I searched my Bible. No, not for a verse of inspiration or an answer to a problem. I didn’t really search the Scripture, although I fully intended to when I opened it. I admit that I became a little distracted by the things I found between the pages. Eventually, these items led me to search the pages themselves. I love my Bible. It was a birthday gift eleven years ago, and it is in a beautiful pink case that I got at the bookstore at Falls Creek when I took my awesome youth group from Honey Grove. Today, as I looked through my Bible, I found a few items that brought back memories and eventually made me think about how and why ministry is so important in my life. I found notes from a Bible Study about the minor prophets. I’m pretty sure Philip did that one in Elk City. There was a thank you note from a friend who appreciated the encouragement I had offered, a handmade card that came from a scrapbooking party my women’s group had several years ago (each of them had signed it), a post-it note that carefully marked a passage in Romans that we studied just a few weeks ago at youth camp, a CD cover from a song that I sang as special music over five years ago, sermon notes from one of Philip’s first sermon series at All Things, a bookmark given to me by a wonderful woman who later became my best friend, and the name of a teenager I promised to pray for during a mission trip in 2003 who is now a grown woman, married with her own child (I prayed for her again today). Each item in my Bible is special. Each one reminds me of an important person, place, or time in my life. Each one makes me thankful for the opportunities God has put in my path. My trip through my Bible eventually brought me to a passage in II Thessalonians. You see, the past eleven years have not been easy. There are many times when I have become “weary in well-doing,” as Scripture cautions against in II Thessalonians 3:13. I have asked God many times why He still wants me. What good am I to Him? God used my Bible, and not just the verses in it, to remind me of why He called me to the ministry in the first place. It certainly isn’t for my talent, diligence, righteousness, or because I in any way deserve the blessings it brings. Actually, I’m not sure why He called me at all (except that I’m a firm believer that He has called all of us—yes, that means you). I am, however, reminded that it is people that I love. They have brought many joys and many triumphs in ministry and in personal relationships. Every life touched in even a little way is a triumph whether it is through prayer, service, music, teaching, preaching, or friendship. II Thessalonians 3:18, a verse that is just below the warning from Paul about becoming weary, says “Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.” The people of Thessalonica were frustrated and tired, but Paul reminded them that God was with them, and He was peace. Tonight He reminded me of all He had done. He has always been with me before, and He will be there with each new adventure, each new calling, each new life that He puts in my path. Don’t give up! Don’t become weary! There are many blessings left to give and to receive. I wonder what treasures I will find both in and between the pages of my Bible in the years to come.
July 12, 2010
I had a long drive today. It is days like this that make me wish I lived closer to home. With a terrible headache, too little sleep, and three kids, I managed to turn a 4 hour drive into 5 1/2 (sound familiar?). I finally arrived at my parents this afternoon exhausted but happy. There are many things that I love about my parents’ home. The bed is soft, the food is wonderful, the kids are spoiled, and I always leave with a thankful of gas and a heartful of new memories. They don’t live in the same house I grew up in. It is not in the town where I went to high school or near the church where I got married, so nostalgia doesn’t come from the location itself. It is the little things that remind me I am home, like the framed picture that has hung on the wall of every home I’ve ever known. It has a scripture verse from Joshua 24:5 that says, “Choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Every time I read it I see my dad as some sort of tough guy telling Satan off. I never looked at that verse as a suggestion or a choice. It was a declaration that my family lived by. From the time I was small I can remember waking in the middle of the night to find my dad on the end of my bed praying for me. I remember waking up early in the morning to find him in his armchair, a cup of coffee in one hand and his Bible in the other. I learned from both my parents at an early age that people matter. They were quick to meet the needs of others, even when they didn’t really have the means to meet it. I learned that sacrifice was crucial. The important things in life, like education and friendships, often cost a great deal, but the end result was worth striving for. Most of all, I learned that I was loved. Through the example of their love, I accepted Christ at an early age and made a choice for myself that I would serve Him. This June, I watched my husband baptize two of my children. The first one had been baptized two years earlier. Now they, too, have chosen. I pray every day that I can be the guidance to them that my parents were to me. Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, “Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth before the difficult days come.” As parents, we all fear that our kids will make wrong decisions. What if they make a catastrophically wrong one? What if they ruin the life God has given them? I’m no expert on the matter, but the scripture tells me that difficult days will come. It’s not an “if” statement. Our best tool as parents is to teach our children while they are young to love and cherish their relationship with Christ. Then, when the hard times come, they will be prepared. They will find their way back. On the last leg on my trip today, I missed an important turn. Before long, I knew I was lost. I picked up my cell phone and called my parents. Their calming, reassuring voices, and clear directions put me right back on the path. When our kids get off the path, and they will, we guide, pray, and love them back in the right direction. If you want them to survive the difficult times unscathed, it is time to decide. Choose! Be careful. Serving the Lord is not a one day thing. It is a one day at a time thing. You may be thinking, “Well, that’s great, but I didn’t have that example in my home.” That is exactly why I’m telling you about my example. If you didn’t have it, then make a commitment to be it for your kids. Choose! If you were blessed as I was, stop taking it for granted and repeat it. Choose! Take your kids to church (not just once in a while). Pray with them and pray over them. Teach them to read and memorize scripture, and let them see you doing it! Choose! Decide today that as for your house, you will serve the Lord!
July 11, 2010
I still have anniversaries on the brain thanks to a Facebook post by my wonderful sister-in-law. In June, she celebrated two years of marriage. She married my brother in the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen on the beach at Tybee Island, Georgia. Philip preached the ceremony and all three of my kids were part of it. It was a perfect day at the beach, and if I could have bottled the smile on my brother’s face I could have made some money! My amazing new sister-in-law was radiant in her wedding dress. The sky was a perfect blue, and the preacher was gorgeous in his newly acquired tan! However, as far as my daughter (who was 3 at the time) was concerned, none of that mattered. She twirled around and around in her silky yellow dress, tossed her flowers high into the air to let the wind catch them, and spent the ceremony digging her bare feet in the sand and charming the matron of honor. In her mind, it was all about her! Every move she made shouted, “Look at me, I’m adorable!” and “It’s so nice of you all to throw me this party!” As I read Angelia’s anniversary post, I was reminded of my daughter spinning on the porch at the beach house during the reception blowing bubbles with my brother’s new father-in-law and daring anyone to ignore her. I don’t think the bride and groom minded much. As I recall they were too busy staring into each other’s eyes to notice! But as I thought about it later, I saw too much of myself in my daughter. The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:13 at the end of the verses we all know as the Lord’s prayer, “For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.” Our lives are God’s! He deserves the praise, the admiration, the attention, but I can sometimes get in His way by trying to grab the spotlight. As shocking as it may be, not everything is about us! The power and the glory are His. So are the worries, the pains, the heart breaks, for He tells us in I Peter 5:7 to “cast all our cares upon Him.” So much of the world is passing by us as we focus on ourselves. We should focus instead on the Groom, for we are His bride. Maybe it’s time to stop acting like the flower girl!
July 10, 2010
My boys love it when I sit down and play the wii with them. It doesn’t happen as often as it should because it involves sitting down, and I don’t have time for much of that. I’m trying to make more time, and I’m learning far more from the boys and the wii than I expected. They have a new game called “Spore Hero”. Quite frankly, I don’t get it, but anything more advanced than bowling is usually over my head. In Spore Hero, players must first design a monster. I’m scrolling through screen after screen of legs, arms, and eyeballs with Tait shouting, “put these on, they can punch from a distance,” and Ransom counter advising with, “No, mom, you need the arms that give better blocking power.” I was dizzy by the time I had created this gosh ugly creature, and I thought it was time to play. Ransom laughed, “Mom, if you step into the fighting zones like that, you’ll be knocked out in less than a minute. You really need some armor!” So, we went back to the flashing screen and selected shields, breastplates, and impenatrable scaly things. Next, my hideous monstrosity was declared by both boys to be “battle ready.” At this point Ransom begins to explain as if he is talking to some other 11-year-old boy that I just hit the “c” button to jump, the “z” and “b” to punch, the “a” and “c” to bite. If I hit the “xyz”, shake the nunchuck and do the hokey pokey while turning myself around, ssupposedly I can defend myself and further an attack while rejuvenating the creature and preserving my life. At this point, I’m thinking, “I’ll just go back to cleaning the house. The washing machine is a monster, too, but at least I understand how to run it.” But I wanted the time with my boys, so I tried. I staggered into the arena (because I had accidentally created one leg longer than the other) and tried to fight. Tait cheered me on, but I knew it was hopeless. I started hitting random buttons and shaking everything in an attempt to defend myself. Ransom shook his head and offered more advice that made no sense (I’m starting to wonder if this is what students sometimes feel like in my class). Time after time, I find my pink (Kambry helped, too) monster on the ground and the screen flashing, “terminated”. Ransom grins and says, “You nearly had it that time. You’re fighting great! Why don’t you use your shield?” Use it? I don’t even know what end of Pinky the Ballerina I put it on! That’s when it hit me. Ephesians 6:11 says, “Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It goes on to talk about the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the belt of truth, and the shoes of the gospel of peace. It tells us that God’s Word is our Sword. Sometimes I’m not sure Christians understand those verses any more than I understand Spore Hero. In talking to some of my ladies lately, we have found that Satan’s attacks on us have been violent and often. It would be so easy just to give up and watch the word “terminated” be stamped across our foreheads. We find that the closer we get to God and the harder we work for Him, the more Satan attacks. He has no need to harm us when we aren’t a threat. However, we are supposed to be a threat to him! Besides, in this battle, unlike the unfortunate one between Pinky and something Ransom called T98, we already know the outcome. God wins! All we have to do is stay strong and protect ourselves by accepting Jesus as our Savior, doing what is right, living in the truth, and sharing the good news with others. We don’t have to push three buttons while standing on our tiptoes and singing “I’m a Little Tea Pot,” which might have been a more effective way to win with Pinky. Instead, we need to arm ourselves with God’s Word and come up swinging and telling Satan to flee from us because we can’t be defeated! Put on your armor, learn how to use it, and get on the battlefield. And play a little wii with your kids now and then. There’s so much to learn!
July 9, 2010
I can’t believe I just celebrated my 16th wedding anniversary. I’m not sure where that time went, but somewhere between education, careers, kids, career changes, and ministry, I gained way too many pounds and my husband got white hairs in his beard. Looking back, I can’t think of much that I would change, but I can certainly find much to be thankful for. Looking forward, I feel apprehension (now I have a middle schooler) and uncertainty (I’m married to a church planter), but I have much more to look forward to(I have a middle schooler, and I’m married to a church planter). I feel blessed to have my husband by my side as we approach the unknown just as he has been for every step of the past 16 years. He is the love of my life, my knight in shining armor, my prince. If this seems a bit mushy, I’m sorry, but I do have a point. For all that he is, he is fallible (if you know him, you know it’s true), but God says in Psalm 118:8-9 “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes.” Philip will always be my prince, but God is my King! He is not disappointed about the past or fearful of the future. He knows more about me even than my husband of 16 years. He knows exactly how many hairs on Philp’s chin have turned white! I hope He’s counting carefully because the number is increasing daily! I know you are busy, ladies, but don’t forget to hug your babies, kiss your prince, and thank your King for all of them!
